To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
