i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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