This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
