He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
