literally had 100 drinks last night.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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