I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
