Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
