We won't sleep together?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
