South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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