Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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