So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
