Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
