I am puke
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
