My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
