next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
