i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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