You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
