I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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