The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
