She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
