and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
