I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
