your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
