Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
