I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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