playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
