Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
