Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
