You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
