Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
be right there i have to get my cape
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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