Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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