All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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