i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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