My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
