if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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