just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize