I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
