I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
