I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
