Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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