I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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