weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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