so explain again why im purple
no
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
