Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
