im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
