awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
