I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
