hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
