the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
