She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
