WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
