So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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