There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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