she was so not down for the gang bang
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
