Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
