Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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