Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
