just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
