I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
