There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I love having hate sex.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
