if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
