What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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