you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
