My brain says no but my pants say off.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
