I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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