We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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