he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
